So I started writting a story the other day about a male heir to a vast empire who had led a very comfortable life but had never been spoiled, who was constantly trying to change his daily rutien up so he wouldn't get bored with his coasting existance but it never really worked. Little did I know I was writting about myself... till just a few moments ago. I was listening to a song that just brought all of the feelings of that character back and I realized. I'm bored of the life I am living... but I'm so unmotivated to change, for a million different reason that I feel oh so very stuck.

I'm bored of my family, my home, my job, my relationship (not of brandon and my love for him just the ... mild stand still and regular things we do), my room, my computer life, my days out with friends, my favorite songs, my car, my job, just bored of my entire life. I'm sitting here pining and mooning over what could have been and what still could be if I would just get off my butt. I want to have my entire life just turn compleatly upside down, I want a new job. I want to go to school and stay far away from my family, I want to fall in love with everything, I want to follow my passions, I want to meet someone there be a sudden spark and then fall in love and go from there. (Again I love brandon and this has nothing to do with him i just want everything new including a new relationship... you know, that rush right there at the begining.)

I've rambled and I know if I want these things I need to do them for myself... I just lack in motivation. Fuck....